Boundaries during times of change

How comfortable are you with setting boundaries at work? Can you say no with confidence? Do you find yourself second guessing your boundaries? Are they easier to uphold more for some people than others? 

You’re not alone if you struggle with boundaries at times - most of us do. But there are some times more than others that you need to stick to your guns.

Being able to create and uphold boundaries at work is a critical skill to develop - for your health (physical, mental and emotional) of course, but also to protect the quality of your performance. 

Although, it’s harder to do than the inspirational instagram posts and conventional management advice let on.

That’s because saying no or putting limits around our involvement at work comes with implicit risks, like:

• You may lose out on future opportunities

• Your ‘team player’ status gets questioned

• Your boss will think you’re difficult

• Your colleagues can think you’re lazy or unhelpful

Fortunately, setting boundaries has a clear risk/reward proposition - so they’re worth doing right.

Boundaries protect your time, energy and effort. By spending less on tasks or activities that aren’t important to you, you can invest your time, energy and effort on things that are important and deliver value. You play the short-term risk against the long-term gain. 

With practice, successfully setting and upholding boundaries becomes easier and those implicit risks disappear. 

Is your boss really going to think you’re difficult for saying “no” occasionally when all they see from you is great results on the work that matters?

Yet there’s a specific work context in which boundaries are absolutely critical…but is a situation in which women often - utterly illogically -  cast their boundaries aside.  

Let me share a story about an exceptionally intelligent, capable and talented woman, a client of mine.

She’d landed a brilliant new role in a different (and I would say undoubtedly better) organisation. Rather than scheduling her notice to coincide with her planned leave, she  made her notice period effective from her return. Her start date in her new role and organisation was just 3 days after her finish date. 

When I asked her why she’d made this decision, it all came down to wanting to ‘do the right thing’. 

Even though she would never go back to that organisation or want to work for any of its leaders again, she felt for the people she was leaving behind.

And so she put their interests ahead of her own. 

This is not an uncommon act among women when we change roles. Despite the excitement for ourselves and the possibilities we’re stepping into, we carry a guilt about the people we’re leaving.

We feel this guilt because we know we’re leaving a gap that our colleagues will need to fill, on top of everything else they’re already doing. 

With too much work, not enough resources, unwieldy recruitment processes and all the other inefficiencies that are inevitable in practically every organisation. 

If you find yourself in this situation, I ask you this question: How is it your responsibility to make up for your organisation’s lack? 

This is a bit unfair, because it’s a rhetorical question…because the right answer is always “it’s not”. 

It’s never your responsibility to make up for what your organisation lacks. 

Whenever you change jobs it’s imperative you maintain your boundaries with extra vigilance. Protect your energy so you can start the new role in optimum condition. 

I share with you the same advice I give my clients - your focus in these types of situations must always be on fulfilling your role while preventing you from exhaustion. 

This can mean taking actions like: 

• Focus on getting ready for handover, whether you have someone to handover to or not

• Work during business hours only - do not do overtime (even if it’s paid) 

• Remove yourself from meetings you won’t add value to or don’t add value to you during your remaining time in the role - be discerning 

• Don't commit yourself to anything that you can’t finish within your notice period 

Your new workplace needs the best you, not an exhausted you - so uphold your boundaries and make your change work for you. 

With your boundaries in place, you can start your new role feeling energised, with a clear mind and the ability to impress from the get-go - just by being your best self!

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If you see yourself at risk of abandoning your boundaries, reach out and book a chat to discuss whether coaching might be the solution you're looking for. 

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